Since news of a successful BCExitWexit campaign we have heard rumblings of Vancouver Island planning their own seperation movement. Coined #VanIsleSeeYaLater, the movement seeks to create a soft border between the mainland and the independent island community.
The movement hopes to halt the main-lander Boomer immigration phenomenon by terminating all ferry crossings, and retrofitting the existing fleet into a brigand of floating marijuana dispensaries. This decision marks the first time in history that islanders are content with the direction of BC Ferries.
“Those fast-talking mainlanders don’t understand our cherished tradition of “Island Time” and they never respect the riptide which puts ALL of us in danger. ”
VISYL activist at Transfer beach.
Update - November 12th, 2019
Salt Spring Island has just announced their intent to separate from Vancouver Island. Representatives of the SaltSpringAway movement believe that the micro island will fare better on it’s own.
Costco, does not accept apples as currency
“Those islanders are spoiled by their Costcos and movie theatres. They have never appreciated Salt Spring and our apple based economy. Well, let’s see how far they get without our boutique hard ciders and goat cheeses.”
When reminded that Salt Spring Island gets all of it’s power from the mainland the activist insisted that they would somehow retain all of the benefits of being part of the island but without any of the responsibilities.
Update - November 13th, 2019
Salt Spring local Steven Walters is seeking support from local residents to declare his property a sovereign state. The StevenIsLeavin hashtag wasn’t trending while Steven and his pregnant wife nailed up handmade border signs along their boutique apple orchard.
“Who is the council to tell me that I shouldn’t crossbreed a Golden Tosh apple with my family’s heritage Showerton strain?
Disrespect my Golden Showers,
and you are disrespecting me. ”
Golden Showers, tangy yet delicious.
Mr. Showerton’s wife is worried that being pregnant in a newly formed country might be difficult, and may hinder her future child’s opportunities. “You know, besides apple picking, there just isn’t too much industry on the Showerton estate.”
An exclusive interview with Mrs. Showerton’s fetus revealed that it is content with it’s current nation-state, but a separation event might still be in the cards.